Women Like This Need Correction Not Capitulation

There is a certain type of woman you find in churches who is full of energy and forcefulness of personality, who insists she is right and insists on her own way.  These are bossy and efficient and often like to run things.  Thus they might end up running various committees that keep parishes going.  In the home, they usually wear the pants in the family.  Their husbands tend to be nice guys who usually just let Jane run the show as it is easier to do so than to stand up to her.

Yes, I am stereotyping.  Some might even identify me as a woman like that. (But please, Lord, give me a teachable spirit and a humble and contrite heart!)  So I'll tell you a secret that is explosively politically incorrect.

What women like this need is correction and not capitulation.  For the sake of their eternal souls they must not get their way.  Especially when it comes to matters of faith.

Sadly, when many men encounter a woman who seems pushy, they find it easier to step aside because standing one's ground might induce the fight/flight reaction and touch upon a motherlode of resentment towards powerful women.  Maybe "Mom" was like this and the son has never recovered his equilibrium.  Sadly, there is a lot of misogyny out there.  It's easy to gloss over with a smile and some inclusive language or other sop so everyone gets along.

Getting angry is the wrong way to deal with a woman like this.  Anger is no way to give correction.  It only works in movies, you know, where someone finally gets fed up and tells off the main character in a huge snit, the main character thinks about it and has a change of heart.  Anger usually only makes women like this think they are right because they think only their anger is righteous and anyone else's is not unless they are a victim of patriarchy or colonialism or something politically correct like that.

The only way is to stand one's ground in patience and love and not abdicate a true fatherly role with firm, gentle, patient and loving correction.

This video shows how a priest handles an example of the kind of woman I am talking about with patience, firmness and good humor.

Fr. Ted shows how it's done.

Author: Deborah Gyapong

Deborah Gyapong is a member of the Sodality of the Annunciation of the Blessed Virgin Mary (www.annunciationofthebvm.org) in Ottawa, a former parish of the Anglican Catholic Church of Canada (Traditional Anglican Communion) whose members were received individually and corporately into the Roman Catholic Church on April 15, 2012 by Ottawa Archbishop Terrence Prendergast at St. Patrick’s Basilica. Under the provisions of the Apostolic Constitution Anglicanorum coetibus, the community will celebrate an approved Anglican Use liturgy and hopes to soon join with other sodalities across Canada to form the Canadian Deanery of the Personal Ordinariate of the Chair of St. Peter under Msgr. Jeffrey Steenson, Ordinary. As we wait for our priest(s) to be ordained as Catholic priests, God willing, Archbishop Prendergast will provide priests to celebrate our Sunday Eucharist according to the Anglican Use. Deborah is a journalist who covers religion and politics in Canada’s national capital, writing primarily for Roman Catholic newspapers since 2004. Her novel The Defilers, published in 2006, was not a best seller, alas. She spent 17 years at the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation in news and current affairs, including 12 years as a television producer.

13 thoughts on “Women Like This Need Correction Not Capitulation”

  1. Speaking of movies, Meryl Streep's Sister Aloysius in the film "Doubt" comes to mind.

    Ha. Now that we bring "Mom" into it… I don't think I'd be where I am without her. It's not just the forcefulness, it's just the realization that women who care that much are an asset. It is a strong Catholic woman who would pray the rosary every morning and did not even have to say anything to get her son and husband back to going to church with her.

    When they are correct, it's easy to see a Mary or a Judith in these women.

  2. Hmmmm. I just read Raymond Arroyo's biography of Mother Angelica. But she truly relied on prayer and on God, then acted. A woman like the one in the video, spare us good Lord!

    The problem though is not with the women, per se, but the men who do not know how to righteously stand up to them when they need to have their natural force-of-nature strength tempered with the correction of the Holy Spirit.

    There is something to headship, I know, not a popular or politically correct topic.

    1. Let us not be afraid to be politically incorrect. Political correctness is the tool of the Frankfurt School of Marxism, so that you'd feel guilty about yourself. It's a tool used by people without any valid authority. The crazy Ayn Rand sort of people.

      We need to counter that sort of thing with something, well, Catholic! But that's just radicalism talking. I'm sure some of you level-headed people can think of something better.


      "To call those sort of women 'feminists' is like calling cannibals 'chefs' " to quote Dr. Peter Kreeft at the 22:00 minute mark of that video.

  3. Actually, such women are part of the problem. It us not merely that wacky nun that Matthew Clark has running around and that particular breed, but the ones running all sorts of liturgical ministries who have a vested interest in keeping them going to maintain their positions as well that type that some would call the Men are Evil type. Somehow in all problems, men are to blame. They may do so for conservative or even traditionist ends, but the reasoning is the same. The more traditional minded of such type I have to be completely balmy. You just meet when she's not around and come up with rational solutions, that is until you can't around her, you blow, and tell her what you really think of her. At which point she storms out, takes some supporters with her, and you are working on the project with less people, but with peace finally. Or you can make an off the wall joke that everyone else knows is a joke, but she does not, at which point you let someone else deal her most recent form of insanity as your own project is going on without her. They dont take correction too well, but that is if little concern when actual work needs to be accomplished.

  4. Amen sister. Women get a pass and they are suffering as a result!
    Men have turned cowardice and lack of interest into some how being "virtuous".
    Instead, they act superficially like their fathers and put on macho airs – beer commercial men – while their wives and daughters fill the void. Too many men
    today smoke cigars, strap on triathlon and biking outfits, cheer their favorite teams but are the biggest sissies the West has ever seen!

    Thanks for the note – it needed to be said.

    Dan Hoffman

  5. The menopause is a cruel transition in a woman's life. As my mother often observed, the fifties are an embittering time for women, as one sees loud and clear in this demonstration of bullying ignorance. I admire the young priest for his patience and good manners as well as his fidelity to the Church. Nothing is ever enough for women of this type.

    1. If these women hate the Vatican, they should leave and become Episcopalians or Methodists or First Church of Presbylutheranism or something. Same for "gay priests" and "bishops"

      Obedience is a quality that Jesus Christ has; Jesus Christ obeyed the Will of His Father TO THE DEATH. Satan rebelled, and will probably rebel until the End of Time. Which quality should the devout Christian aspire to have?

      If these women have any respect for themselves as Catholics, they would NOT rebel against the Vatican, they would instead resist a secular government that murders millions of children, both male and female, but especially female in places like China. I think the truth is, these agents of Satan support such murders and call it "Respecting the dignity of a woman's choice" or something inoffensive.

      Let us look at the Cross where our Lord is still crucified, and pray that we have the courage to obey when the time comes and not let ourselves be deluded by Satan's craft.

  6. That young man, however, is a fine example of a good priest. He has clearly had good priestly formation. What a blessing he would be to a parish.

    I notice that the lady he was debating with clearly struggled to reconcile her genereal relativist worldview with the contradictory need for her to actually argue a consistent, truth-based, position. She is a good example of what happens when liberals who profess an 'ecumenical'/postmodern theology are forced to actually systematise their theology and defend it — something they are actually opposed to in theory!

    1. This assessment of the woman's attitude strikes me as more valid than previous characterizations of her as "bitter" or "bullying'" , neither of which I saw. What interested me most was her assumption that, despite her views on the papacy, etc and the fact that she now attends a "house church", she and the priest were still members of the same club, or perhaps family is the better analogy. I assume she was an ex-nun but she in no way saw herself as an ex-Catholic.

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