…ok, maybe not a very good one — but certainly in the same league with most of those who cover stories about the Catholic Church.
Go to the Catholic Herald and read "Covering the Pope: a guide for journalists." Milo Yiannopoulos has written a terrific guide to show you how you can be a successful journalist while getting everything wrong. Here are a few excerpts:
For any event at which the Pope appears, always inflate the number of protesters. At World Youth Day in Madrid this year, the number of protesters represented less than 0.04 per cent of the people who turned out in support of the Pope (5,000 people versus 1.5 million people). But that didn’t stop those enterprising minds at the BBC from focusing almost exclusively on the malcontents, ignoring the vast scale and success of a joyful celebration of young Catholics.
Here's another useful tip:
Any rumour of a potential walk-out from politicians or other religious leaders in response to an appearance by Pope should be reported as fact – in other words, as though it had already happened. Don’t correct your story if it turns out only that a tiny proportion of the loonier fringes of Government failed to show up. That’s just splitting hairs.
More solid advice:
Where possible, use photos of the Pope’s back. These are brilliant because they imply that he’s isolated and unpopular. Don’t be fooled by eyewitness reports that describe him as energetic and surrounded by thousands of well-wishers.
And the always-popular:
…make liberal use of Adolf Hitler. Hitler is a staple part of any modern religious affairs correspondent’s diet. No report about Benedict XVI or the Catholic Church is complete without a reference to the Nazis, especially the fact that he was a member of the Hitler Youth.
Read the whole thing. But I warn you. Don't drink coffee or anything else while you're reading, or you'll need a new monitor and keyboard.