As many of you know, I recently began a new ministry here in Des Moines, Iowa. Since late December I have been running at full speed almost constantly. Trying to get to know people in my parish (as well as the Catholics of the area), and learning the little traditions and particular habits of a congregation will always keep someone busy (this is the main reason I have not done much over here at the Anglo-Catholic for a long time). We also are still trying to take care of and sell our house back in Virginia. I really have no complaints about being busy; it is a joy to be here, and I am truly thankful that I have been allowed to serve God's Church in this capacity. When responsibilities pile up, and we realize just how large certain tasks are, it can begin to make one feel somewhat unskilled. Having to ask questions to verify precisely how something is normally done can often make one feel a bit stupid. Then to top it off, we are all waiting for the Ordinariate to come into existence here in the USA, and while we have hopes and expectations that it will be soon, our inability to make it come faster makes us feel ineffective.
There is another layer of this whole situation though. All of this is going on right now during the end of the Lenten season. We have been going through fasts and abstaining from certain things. The sacrament of Confession becomes more common, and services increase in frequency (especially during these next few days). It causes us to look forward to Easter with an extra joy and excitement this year. We all hope that there are some new horizons that we will be able to reach, and soon.
Each one of us wants to be strong. Although the definition of "strong" may be different for every one of us, we all have the same goal in it: we desire to have the ability to accomplish that which we consider to be good and right. We want to be better spouses, better parents, better children, better workers, better clergy, and better Christians overall. In spite of this, that very strength that we seek at times seems fleeting and just outside of our grasp. The temptation to throw up our hands and give up can be extra strong (that is exactly what Satan would love to help us do). I have been preaching for weeks encouraging my parish to be diligent in taking advantage of every means the Church provides for our spiritual growth. The Lenten season is designed to help us to walk closer to Jesus, and we must use every tool it grants us. Then as the end approaches, we start to wonder if we really are any closer to God than we were six weeks ago. Did we take advantage of things the way we were supposed to?
Clearly, one of the worst attitudes we can have is pride; being smug about how well we did in our spiritual walk is the exact danger that the Apostle Paul warned the Corinthians about many times. If you get to the end of the Lenten season and say "wow, I really did great this year!" there is a good chance that you really did awful. Yet, we are supposed to feel like we have grown in our faith and are able to love God and neighbor more than we did before. God wants us to be encouraged. It is this tension that Paul saw and tried to root out of the Church in Corinth. This is why he also pointed out to them that Jesus said "My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness" (2 Cor 12:9). When we hold on to the two different ideas it can be confusing, but the world we live in is created that way. "You have to go down to go up." If you have grown into a deeper relationship with Christ, then your heart should be saying both "I am weak" and "Jesus is strong", so that you can also say "I have grown" and do so without pride.
In this Holy Week are you feeling a bit weak? I know I am, and I also know that is a good thing. When we are weak and pliable, then we are able to be used. Dried clay is set and is only useful for one purpose; wet clay can be formed for many uses. Strength in the flesh will only make us break like clay pots when God calls us to service. None of us who are waiting to be received into the Catholic Church knows exactly what we will be called to do; that can be frightening. Let us accept our weakness, seeing that Christ appeared as weak on these days of the Triduum. Yet in that apparent weakness was found the greatest strength man can know. The strength of faithfulness and determination; the strength of the accomplishment of our redemption; the strength that led to the victory of the Resurrection of that first Easter morning. When we are weak, then we are strong.
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Thanks, Father, for this helpful post… lots to think and pray about.
Thank you for this.
Have you considered renting your house out until the economy picks up? Of course you need to be sure about who you are renting to as to not cause yourself more problems. Just a suggestion.
Matthew,
Yes, we did consider renting, but there are a few "extenuating circumstances" that make it incredibly difficult (it's hard to describe). Thank you though.
We had the privilege of meeting you at the Atonement earlier this year. You write so beautifully and express the Faith so wonderfully. Know that we have been and continue to pray daily for you and your community. I wish I were stronger too, but you gave me a little hope with your essay and more to strive for. Our hope is that we are always near His Passion.
God Love you and yours. John
John,
Thank you for your kind words of encouragement. God bless you as well!
Praying for you all during this exciting time!
Great post, Father Seraiah!
It is thru such apparent paradoxes that our faith in Christ grows more mature.
On a lighter note, I think I may, perhaps, or not, at one time, have heard of a parish that held an annual contest to find its most humble member, and then prominently display the winner's picture in the narthex. Rumour also has it that, at one time after Vatican II, they may have experimented with something called "pre-confession". I seem to recollect that their Bishop shut them down after he got a whiff of their goings on. And they say the theatre of the absurd has no uses…
I wonder if there is any incoming Anglican presence in the territory of the Diocese of Sioux City, in Iowa. I ask because the Latin Mass followers there have had their Mass rolled back from the every-Sunday basis to one Sunday a month. It is a cause of great disappointment to many people there. Will the priests of the ordinariate be able to help the Latin Mass people at Sioux City? I pray so. If not, it might be possible for those Latin Mass supporters to attend an Anglican-Catholic Mass.
P.K.T.P.
J.M.J.
They are pretty close to Omaha, so I hope they will get in touch with us as things move forward. We may well be able to assist from time to time.
We use the Missal of St. Pius V at least once a week for weekday Mass.
SWR
Thank you Father Chori. I've just seen this post. You write beautifully and with a very simple intensity. The past 18 months have been very difficult for me personally and I have often felt weak to the point of being useless. As you say, weakness to the point of complete pliability is actually when we become most useful; to ourselves and others.
I know other people have seen my weakness in response to adversity as just that; I understand now that was when realised my full strength. Most of my thoughts this Easter have been directed towards those expeiences.
I pray for your own continuing strength. Thanks again.
Gigi,
Thank you for your encouragements (and your prayers). I'm glad to have been able to help. May our Lord bless you more and more every day!
Thank you! I was thinking earlier about my Mum, who passed away last year. She was very elderly and frail and terrified of falling; she would frequently say "If I fall, I shan't be able to get up!" She had a bad tumble a few months before she died and was clearly terrified that would be it for her. But I got her up and sat her down, and she was soon up on the zimmer frane again, going far too fast. For days afterwards, she told all visitors "I had no idea I could get up until I fell over like that". I am beginning to see just how much truth there always was in my Mum's Irish whimsy!
All good blesings to you and your family too Father Chori.
Gigi,
That is a beautiful story about your Mum. May I use it as a sermon illustration (I can think of multiple applications for it)?
Hello! Oh yes please do: she would be thrilled, although she would want to point out that even when she fell badly and was in great pain, her hair and lipstick were perfect!
I'm really pleased that story has touched you. So much of what my Mum and Dad said to me, or little asides and regular one-liners, seems to have stayed in my heart across the years. Now when I am grown and have grown-up worries and no Mum and Dad here to advise or chide me, I have my own set of family parables. I know it's like that for all of us.
I think it's lovely if you can re-share her words!
Please let us know how you get on with the house sale; love to you and yours Father!