The word may be a peculiarly American portmanteau, but anyone who’s been a clergyman for a while has had to deal at some time with a “bridezilla” – that unique creature dressed in white, who makes life hell for everyone around her, because “this is my day!” There are few figures more demanding than a bride who has taken on the personality of the movie monster Godzilla, breathing fire and roaring at anyone foolish enough to get in the way.

All right, I know most brides aren’t like that. But there is a tendency in many of them to micro-manage each and every detail, to try and change the ceremony to be a reflection of every dream she’s ever had about the “perfect wedding,” to concentrate far more on the wedding day than on the marriage itself – because, in the immortal words of bridal-speak, “This is my day!” In almost four decades of officiating at weddings, I’ve learned to say, “The Church knows what works. Let’s just do it out of the book.” And without fail, the happy couple thanks me afterwards for “the most beautiful wedding ever!” There’s something about leaving important things to the wisdom of the Church which allows things to come out right.

We’re flirting with disappointment when we begin to insist that our own expectation is the only legitimate plan for the implementation of Anglicanorum coetibus. The moment we assert that it needs to be done in some particular way because otherwise “no one will come in,” or when the claim of one Anglican group is considered superior to that of others, or when we try to dictate our requirements to the Holy See, we’re falling into the “bridezilla” mode.

The Church will establish the Ordinariates in accordance with her wisdom. We really don’t need to fret about the details, because they’re not ours to work out. Brides shouldn’t try to improve on the wedding ceremony, and we shouldn’t try to put our own spin on the implementation of Anglicanorum coetibus. It will be what Christ wants it to be.

Instead, we should be looking to the days and months and years stretching out after it’s been put into effect. As a wedding is just the first day of a marriage, so going over the threshold of an Ordinariate is just the first baby-step into a work we cannot even begin to imagine. There will be people we don’t know, and children yet unborn, who will be taking their place with us over the years to come.

A few days after the announcement of the Apostolic Constitution, a member of the CDF told me, “It’s probably going to be a little messy at first.” We’ve seen that already, and we don’t even have the first Ordinariate up and running yet. But Pope Benedict XVI has said more than once that he wants Anglicanorum coetibus to be applied “as generously as possible.” That generosity may come in forms we cannot imagine, or it may not be what we would do if we were in charge. One thing I’ve learned in my nearly thirty years as a Roman Catholic is that I trust the Holy Spirit to guide the Church in these things.

Another thing I’ve learned is that no matter how much I think I know, God always has better ideas than I do.

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